When I had my first daughter I had a strong commitment to breastfeeding and an even stronger network of support which helped me to overcome the difficulties we had early on. She had a very hard time latching to nurse. We ended up being given a nipple shield which helped us begin our nursing experience (be careful- these can be a valuable tool, but should not be used without consulting a lactation consultant). The experience was challenging, frustrating, and downright disheartening. If I hadn’t had the support I had, I may not have continued breastfeeding.
Our experience was made a thousand times more difficult by the need to cover up while nursing. Understand, I had a baby who could not get ahold of my nipple and here I was covered in an absolutely lovely shawl which provided maximum coverage of all my bits and bobs. Only, I couldn’t see my baby who needed help getting securely attached to my breast! I dealt with cracked and bleeding nipples, numerous clogged ducts and even a bout of mastitis due to her latching issues. Through all of it, I never wavered about being covered in public- and even in my own home when guests were around. Thankfully, my little bear was weaned from the nipple shield and we had a successful 22 month nursing relationship. But looking back, I wished it had been different.
When I became pregnant with my second child I had a revelation. My breasts were of no concern to complete strangers. And those who visited my home needed to understand that they were going to be hanging out with my boobs if they were hanging out with me. My strength and commitment to this new mindset came from two places. First, I was tired of hiding away or struggling to help my baby learn to nurse while ensuring everyone else was protected. And second, I participated in a Beauty Revealed photo shoot completely nude. It was liberating, empowering and inspiring. I love my body and wanted my daughters to see that the female figure was nothing to be ashamed of. Alas, it seemed this presented me with a moral dilemma. If one’s body is not shameful…why is mommy covered when nursing? I would not present this confusing message to my daughters and so I became liberated from my nursing cover too. Breastfeeding was one public display of affection I was not going to keep behind closed doors.
My husband was uncomfortable with the idea at first, especially around his male friends. I understood. He already had to share with the baby; he didn’t want to share with his friends too. But for me it came down to this- Babies eat A LOT in the beginning- like constantly- and I was not going to cloister myself away for the comfort of everyone else. The postpartum period comes with major hormonal fluctuations and can be isolating. I didn’t need to add voluntary isolation to the mix.
Now I’m not saying that I make it my life’s work to expose my breasts at every public event I attend, but I’m also not ashamed to feed my child. And if you happen to see the skin whose color just about matches my tired bags under my eyes, then you have some choices. Feel free to avert thine own eyes, but please know, I’m not embarrassed to talk to you while my baby is nursing.
If you are struggling to establish a breastfeeding relationship please contact a lactation consultant, attend a Le Leche League meeting or give me a call. With over 3 years of nursing experience, I’m happy to offer you support, encouragement or resources to help you.
