Sleep deprivation is no joke. After about four to six weeks, the excitement of your newborn may have started to settle into a sense of your “new normal.” The ability to stare at your new little human, awe-struck, for hours on end especially at 3:00 am may have lost its powerful hold over you. You may find yourself desperately yearning for 5 hours of sleep to feel a little more human. Rest assured new parent, this is normal and right where you are expected to be.
It is normal for babies to waked every 2-4 hours for the first six weeks, it is also normal for your baby to wake periodically throughout the night through the first year and with breastfed babies even through year two. Sometimes it is for nutrition, sometimes it is to quench their thirst and other times it’s because this world is foreign and overwhelming and they just want to know you are close and they are safe. While comforting to know, this doesn’t change the fact that you are tired and we get that.
While sleep training is not recommended for babies under 3 months old, sleep shaping is something that can begin day one.
The environment:
Set up the room for success. The more you do to create a conducive sleep environment, the more likely they will sleep deeply. Whatever you decide to do, try to keep the environment the same for day and night.
- Make it dark even during the day. You might consider using blackout curtains in the nursery or whatever sleep space you dedicated for the baby.
- Try using a sound machine to block out the noises of everyday life while your baby is napping.
- Don’t turn on the lights if you need to address an issue. If you need a bit of light, use the least invasive light possible.
Keep the routine simple and the same:
Bedtime routine should be the same for nap and bed, except for the possible addition of bath time.
- change the baby’s diaper
- announce bedtime
- make the room dim
- massage or rub your baby with reasonably firm pressure- start with the legs and feet if massage has not been part of your routine
- swaddle if that is part of your parenting style
- make the room dark
- rock/snuggle
- sing a song- the same song every time will have a Pavlovian Conditioning effect
- lay the baby down
- hush and pat
While it may be tempting to snuggle your baby until they are asleep, falling asleep in one place and being moved to another while they sleep can be very jarring in the natural moments in which your baby will wake or become more aware of their surroundings between sleep patterns. It is helpful to ensure your baby is drowsy but still awake when you put them into their sleep space.
Time to wake is a BIG deal, everything else is quiet and calm:
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When baby wakes for day and from naps make a big deal.
- Be excited, open the curtains and turn on the lights.
- When the baby wakes in less than 45 minutes from nap or before 2-4 hour nighttime period (depending on the age of your baby), it is advised that you go into the room, keep it dark, shush and pat, rock if needed but always keep quiet and dark. Don’t further stimulate the brain by talking.
When they wake before the expected time:
It is ok to comfort your baby briefly. The world is unfamiliar and in nature they wouldn’t be very far from you for extended periods of time. Responding to your baby does not spoil them. It assures them that you are near by and they are safe. Always start by trying to resettle the baby without lifting them. If needed, pick them up to help them settle again. After calm and quiet soothing, return the baby to bed with more pats and shushing. With consistent response and reassurance that you are there to comfort, babies tend to respond well within a few nights.
If you want more information you can reach out to us for ideas, help or postpartum care.
