Dear Big Sister,

In these next few weeks and months I’m going to be asking a lot of you. No, it isn’t going to be fair. You didn’t ask for this new role. This new status of big sister isn’t going to come easy or with a manual. Things are going to change. It’s different having two children.

I know you are learning your new position. I am trying to have patience and honestly I don’t know what I’m doing either. 

We can learn and grow together.

Most days I yell way too often,  meals are not always as nutritious as I would like, and some days end in tears. 

I’m going to ask you to be gentle with me. I am trying to be the best that I can for us. I am trying to meet all your needs, your new baby sister’s needs, along with keeping my own sanity. It is much harder than anyone had explained. I should have known it wouldn’t be as smooth as I had wished it was going to be. I’m sorry that all the preparing wasn’t enough for our reality. 

Before your sister came, I told you I would always love you the same. That wasn’t true. My love for you is different. I didn’t think it was possible, but it has grown. 

I relish in the moments. Your gentle, loving and empathetic soul is awe-inspiring.  To see you caring for your sister (maybe a bit too rough) warms my heart. The way you cover her with a blanket, tell me to “go ahead pick her up” when we’re in the middle of playing, speaks to the depth of your loving heart. I  am so proud of who you are and what you are becoming. 

I will forever cherish these moments of us learning, growing and loving together. Thank you for showing me how capable I am having two children and being a good mother to both of you. 

To my sweet first born,

 I love you.

By: Angelina Miller