The reason a family invests in a doula varies as widely as the people involved. Some hire a doula because they desire to have someone who is knowledgeable about all the options and alternatives they may face in labor. Some want a pain medication free delivery. Others feel nervous and want to know what to expect. For some, they are trying to ensure their delivery is closer to their ideal birth than their previous delivery. The need for a doula during COVID is no less prevalent than it is when there is not a global pandemic.
Every Birth is Different
Every birth is different- even from labor to labor within the same person. Because of this, Doula support looks different for every birth.
The way your doula helps you changes from moment to moment in labor. Our job is to fill in the gaps, wherever they are. Doulas are attuned to these needs and they can “step in” both physically and figuratively. We ensure your needs are met, even if we are not in the delivery room.
What Does Remote Doula Support Look Like?
The support of a doula starts long before you are in active labor. One may even argue that the support during pregnancy is more important than the support during labor. By the time you’re in active labor, your body takes over. Feeling supported, informed and prepared goes a long way towards a positive experience.
The relationship you establish with your doula helps you to feel prepared and confident in yourself and your own birth abilities as you prepare for this major life event.
It is a process, and it begins with that first meeting with your doula. During your pregnancy, your doula will be there for every question, every bump and to help you analyze your feelings on all of your options.
When you are 20 weeks pregnant and you find out the gender of your baby, your provider may not be ready with balloons and 76 trombones to celebrate. Your doula is one call away to share in the excitement with you.
When you are 28 weeks and you have just discovered that you have gestational diabetes, your doula can talk through your worries and direct you to resources to support a healthy nutrition regiment.
When you are 32 weeks and you’re feeling low discomfort in your hips, your doula can explain the common symptoms of pelvic girdle pain, send you resources for stretches or a link for a belly band for additional support.
When you are 37 weeks and your baby is head down, your doula will understand the intense sense of relief you feel. She will also listen and offer information as you process the fact that things are really starting to feel real!
When you are 38 weeks and your water seems to be leaking; you are drawing a blank, instead of panicking, you will call your doula. She will remind you what to look for. She will ask you what symptoms you are feeling and she will remind you to call your provider.
When you are 39 weeks, or maybe 41.5, and labor has begun, you may feel ready to tackle this, but your partner might experience sheer panic. Your doula will talk to your partner. She will give them a manageable list of tasks to complete. Get the hospital bag ready. Take a shower. Make yourselves a hearty meal. Keeping your partner feeling calm and in control is a major component in the duties of a doula. It’s so important, it’s often the partners who call us with the positive pregnancy test for subsequent pregnancies.
Your Doula During COVID can still support you through labor
Your doula will check in throughout early labor with suggestions and questions to keep you feeling calm. When things begin to intensify, you aren’t sure what to do, and you feel as though you have forgotten everything you learned during your childbirth class, your doula will continue to guide you through the waves. She may suggest bouncing on your birth ball, changing positions and maintaining hydration. She will also counsel you if it is starting to sound like you should head to your birthing location.
Once you are ready to go to the hospital, your doula will stay on the phone with you through the entire car ride. You will keep her on speaker, you don’t even need to talk. She will explain what the next steps are going to look like. Your doula will remind you to sip your water, take a deep breath to fill your lungs and oxygenate the baby’s blood supply and she will remind you to release the tension between contractions.
All of this happens whether hiring a doula during COVID or not. This is doula support.
Remote support looks a little different, but so much of what we do is about holding space during the process of labor. It is this management of the environment and the ability to draw on your doula’s wealth of knowledge that brings peace and comfort to the experience. This doesn’t go away just because hospitals are keeping extra support at bay.
When you arrive at the hospital, your doula will remind your partner to offer firm support, like a hand to hold or shoulders to lean on, and not to ask you questions during the contractions. She will guide them when to offer your chapstick, water, a pillow, a blanket, or a wet cloth. She will continue to monitor your environment whether by asking questions or by observing via video call.
Just as she would if she were there, your doula will be there to coach both of you, to help build the intimacy between you and your partner. You will be confident because your doula will be reminding you that what you are experiencing is normal. Your partner will feel calm because they will know they are helping you in an effective way.
Once your baby is born, you will feel the rush of love, astonishment, and a feeling of relief because you were comforted and you received the support you needed… Even during a global pandemic… Even if your doula wasn’t physically permitted in the hospital room. Her calm, practical knowledge will have led you to where you needed to be, to experience the birth you envisioned.
The “why” for employing a doula for labor and birth support varies, and so does the how. As doulas, we meet you where you are so we can help you get where you want to be. Whether that means more birth education, affirmations that you’re safe and strong, or physical reminders to move your body into a new space, we personalize our care to you. A doula enhances your birth experience, even during a global pandemic. Don’t let anything hold you back from the birth experience you envision for yourself, for your baby, and for your family. Let your doula help.
By Laura Martin
