Like many things in our society, the preferred method to feeding our babies has followed a pendulum swing throughout the decades. Prior to 1865 breastfeeding whether yourself or with a wet nurse was the only way to feed your baby. Then a shift. For a few decades, bottle feeding was the trend. Society compelled mothers to formula feed because that was the best way to feed your baby. If you go anywhere on the internet today you see the attempt to swing back. I am here to let you in on the secret to the best way to feed your baby. If you follow this advice, you absolutely cannot, without a doubt, go wrong.
Know the best way to feed your baby?
Exactly the way that works for YOU.
Let’s walk through my baby feeding journey.
I am a mother of three children and I have fed each one of them in a completely different way, for different reasons, and each way was exactly perfect.
Before having children, if someone were to ask me if I was planning to breastfeed, my reply was a confident, emphatic “OF COURSE!”
Well, my 6-year-wiser self wants to run over and hug that unassuming first time mom.
Here’s how it really panned out those first few days after birth: My “unmedicated labor” turned into a cesarean section. My skin to skin bonding turned into a 3-day stay in the NICU. By the time I realized I should be pumping to begin production, I was already behind the 8 ball. We got home and no matter what I did, I could not get my baby to latch. There were tears, there was sweat, there was a hungry, overly-sleepy baby; it was nothing like the picture perfect natural experience society led me to expect.
In the next months, I saw three lactation consultants, I used nipple shields, we tried endless breastfeeding positions- sitting up, laying down, dangling. It felt like we did everything but swinging from the chandelier.
I would pump 8-10 times a day, just to collect 5-15 oz. of breastmilk… total. For reference within about a week and a half, babies consume roughly 24 oz of milk each day.
I was crushed. I hated the pump. I was frustrated with my baby; disappointed in myself. I felt secluded from social gatherings and chained to that pump while I struggled to feed my baby.
For 6 months I tortured myself.
One day, I decided, I….was…. DONE!
The best way to feed baby number one was with a bottle.
From that day, that baby was exclusively bottle fed. He had breastmilk from me for a while, he had breastmilk from two friends of mine that overproduced and graciously shared the wealth. The rest of his nutrition was from formula. Guess what guys? He is in kindergarten now and he is THRIVING. He is smart, kind, friendly, and healthy.
Fast forward to baby #2: I promised myself, I would take this feeding journey as it came. I would attempt to breastfeed again, but if it looked and felt anything like the experience I had with my first, we would skip the emotional havoc and move on to formula and bottles.
Why? Because, I realized I could bond with my baby any other way, all day long. I had a toddler and a newborn at the time, and I refused to tarnish this beautiful, albeit hectic, experience with the stress of exclusive breastfeeding.
Guess what happened this time? He had a strong latch, he was gaining weight at an excellent rate; my production was exactly where it needed to be. This baby was exclusively breastfed up until just about the one-year mark. He, like my first son, is also a strong, loving, intelligent, healthy boy.
The best way to feed baby number two was exclusively breastfeeding.
Let’s take a look at baby #3. I foolishly assumed that I would exclusively breastfeed again with no road bumps, because I did that with baby #2. I was “obviously a pro now.”
Well, well, well, Parenthood, you tricked me again!
This time, the pain I was experiencing in my nipples added a whole new dynamic to our journey. I was curling my toes, cringing at every feeding. I began pumping one side to let my breast heal while I breastfed on the other. So much nipple cream, to no avail! At 10 days old, I followed my instinct and brought my baby to get a lip tie revision.
Two words: Game. Changer.
He began transferring milk so much more efficiently. His weight gain was exactly as it should be. My breasts began to heal almost immediately. In addition to breastfeeding on demand, I began pumping to establish a supply for when I wasn’t going to be home. Things were going well.
Then a new curveball: He refused to drink my expressed milk! As it turned out, my milk had a high level of lipase. The enzyme that breaks down the sugars in breastmilk turns the natural sweetness of breastmilk to a flavor which is unappealing to my newborn. I wasn’t wasting my time with the emotional and physical struggle again. I had my hands full enough with three kids under age 5. I needed to be happy and healthy for my family. No added stress from feeding struggles. (Sleep deprivation was enough of a challenge…as you can probably relate!) So, I introduced formula. Guess what? Once again, he is healthy and gaining weight.
The biggest difference this time is, I feel ZERO guilt. My whole family is fed whether I am home or not, and I am not missing anything by being chained to a pump. Know what is even more special? My 5 and 4-year-old get to share in the experience by feeding their brother a bottle too!
The best way to feed baby number three was a combination.
The way you feed your baby is perfect. The “perfect” feed for baby #1 may be completely different than the perfect feed for baby #2. Why? Because life is always changing. Your family dynamic is always changing. Your health, both physical and mental is paramount. Ensuring that your baby is fed and growing is the ultimate goal.
Do not. I repeat DO NOT let society pressure you into something that doesn’t work for your family or your life.
For our family’s journey, I pumped, we used donor milk, I breastfeed, we supplemented, we bottle fed, I used nipple shields, we opted for a lip tie revision, and my older sons got the opportunity to be a part of the experience by feeding their baby brother, too.
Each baby is different. Each milestone is different. There is no trophy. Do what works, and do it with confidence. You have everything you need to know the best way to feed your baby. If you want to talk it out, we are here to help.
By: Laura Martin
