Who hires doulas?
It has been our experience that the pregnant person tends to be the one who initiates the conversation about hiring a doula for labor and birth support for their first baby. But do you know who wants to hire the doula for the NEXT baby- the spouse/partner! Why? Because Doulas benefit partners too.
A doula help my partner?
Having a labor doula is supportive for your partner just as much as it is for you. Most of the time, partners WANT to be involved in the process. They WANT to help, participate, be supportive. But often, they aren’t quite sure what to do to make the situation less sucky. Other times, they have great ideas, but aren’t feeling confident in offering those suggestions.
Having a doula with you during labor and childbirth does not exclude or replace your partner, it allows them to actively engage in the process with confidence and effective support.
Traversing the ever changing conditions can be hard. When in labor, your body fluctuates in many ways. One moment you may be hot, the next cold. Your lips may get dry very quickly from frequent deep breathing. You need sips of water often, but may not realize it yourself when you are focusing on contractions. The role of your partner can be to provide a cool washcloth, a warm blanket, a chapstick, and a beverage. These are not hard tasks, but when you’re emotionally invested in the process, sometimes reason and judgement become hard to navigate.
Your doula is there to give suggestions to your partner, so that THEY are the one providing the direct support. Your partner will feel confident that he/she is doing something important and useful, because your doula is experienced in navigating this process and is able to remain calm when emotions and anxiety may run high.
When laboring at home, knowing when to transition to your birthing location can be overwhelming for both you and your partner. Having a doula to consult, who will reassure you of your intuition and who knows the right questions to ask you, will allow you and your partner to make an educated decision on when is the appropriate time to begin travel to the birthing location.
If you find early labor is taking a long time, and you’re just generally unclear of what things will look like in the next hours, your doula will guide you, and give you suggestions on how to handle those hours in limbo. They will also remind and encourage your partner to engage in self-care while they still have the chance to eat, sleep, shower and wrap up loose ends.
Once in a hospital setting, if you have chosen an epidural, you will be far less mobile. Your doula can suggest position changes to help your baby find an ideal birth position. Your partner can do the supporting, with the doula to guide the process.
An asset, not a replacement
Your partner likely knows you better than anyone else on Earth. We will encourage them to tap into that moral support for the active labor portion of childbirth. If more physical aspects of labor support are needed while you and your partner are connecting emotionally, your doula will be the hands while your partner is the heart.
After your baby has arrived they may need to be evaluated by the neonatal team, your partner can stay by the baby the entire time, without feeling like you are being abandoned. Your doula will stay with you, so that no one is alone, no one is unsupported, and everyone feels safe.
Childbirth is a major life milestone, and you have likely never experienced anything quite like it ever before. Your doula will enhance the labor experience for the whole family. Having a neutral party will provide physical, emotional, and educational support so that the challenges you will face will become more manageable and bring a level of control to the event.
We look forward to supporting both you and your partner.
By Laura Martin
