Sleep is a hot topic in parenting. What to do is often debated in parent forums. Here at KOP Doulas, we support each family’s right to choose. If you wish to follow your baby’s cues, we support you fully and many of us have followed that parenting style. Others of us have found establishing a routine to be a savior of the postpartum experience. Our goal is to support you as you-do-you. This article is intended to assist families exploring the idea of sleep shaping.
The idea of sleep training or “Cry It Out” has earned itself a bad reputation. Fear not, there are other ways to establish a routine without leaving your baby to cry or “abandoning” your baby. Unlike sleep training, which isn’t recommended before 4-6 months of age, sleep shaping can begin immediately with the arrival of your new baby.
A healthy routine leads to better sleep, generally more content babies and rested parents.
By incorporating these simple elements into your newborns’ day, you are taking some of the guesswork out of new parenthood. At the beginning, new parents often struggle to interpret their baby’s cries. Is that a hungry cry? A tired cry? A comfort cry? If your day consists of a specific order of events, decoding cries becomes more simple.
If you are seeking a way to better know your baby, here are a few strategies to establishing a predictable sequence of events throughout the day, in essence:
Sleep Shaping.
Sleep to Wake ratio:
For newborns, the period of awake time in between naps is very short, only 45min-1hr. For example, if baby wakes up at 8am, they should be changed, eat, interact, likely have another diaper change, and then be ready for their next snooze by 8:45/9am. Whether that first nap is 20 minutes, or 1.5 hours, the NEXT awake period begins when baby wakes from the initial nap. Baby should eat, interact, have a diaper change, and then settle for nap #2 (45min-1 hour later).
By 3months, baby’s awake time can extend closer to 1hr 15 min to 1.5 hours awake in between sleeps. By 6 months, 2 hours in between sleeps. By maintaining this sleep to wake ratio, baby will fall asleep easier and achieve a healthy overall sleep quotient per each 24-hour period.
Remember, sleep begets sleep. If your baby is only sleeping short intervals, you may be waiting too long to put them down. Watch for early sleep signs that they are ready to go to bed.
Swaddling:
Infants are born with a startle reflex. When they sleep, they jolt themselves awake. In utero, babies are warm and cozy inside their bubble. Once born, babies crave the warmth and snuggly feeling they have grown accustomed to in the past 9 months. By securely swaddling your baby for naps and longer sleeps, we recreate that warm snuggly feeling that makes babies feel secure. It also prevents their arms from jolting them awake during sleep, leading to longer nap times. (YES!!)
The sleep environment:
Noise machines are very helpful environmental tools. Remember, the womb is a noisy place. It’s filled with the sounds of their mother or the gestational carrier’s heartbeat, the sounds of digestion, and the swooshing of amniotic fluid. A noise machine helps simulate those sounds and allows the baby to get used to surrounding sounds so they are able to sleep through household or public noises. This is particularly helpful if you have older children that seem to be noisier than elephants during baby’s nap time.
Black out curtains are a great investment for baby’s nursery. The baby will associate their room as their sleeping place. Keeping it dark and calm allows them to fall into a relaxed state and fall asleep more easily.
It is important to realize, every day is a little different than the day before when it comes to newborns. Use these strategies to establish a predictable sequence of events rather than focusing on a specific time on a clock. In doing this, by 3-6 months, you will be surprised to see that the original order of events will naturally follow a routine that DOES follow specific times on the clock.
Parenting is tricky no matter what, make it a little easier by establishing a routine that works for your family. If you are feeling like you need additional support- ask your doula. Postpartum doulas are excellent resources for developing, supporting and enhancing routines.
By Laura Martin
