Birthing a child can be an amazing and unpredictable experience. You may plan your c-section months in advance, or you may find yourself in the OR after several hours of pushing. Regardless of the reason, your physical and emotional experience after a cesarean can be a rollercoaster, especially if this wasn’t the means by which you expected to deliver your child. After a cesarean, you may find yourself with an assortment of feelings regarding the delivery. A range of emotions is normal and to be expected.
For some, a planned or unexpected c-section, can leave them feeling happy, relieved, well rested, and calm in the decision to have a cesarean section. Never let anyone bring you down. Your feelings are valid! You made the decision that was best for you, for your baby, for your family. And it was YOURS to make. Go you!
For others, an unexpected or even planned c-section, can be a difficult and disappointing procedure to process. It’s important to let yourself grieve the birth you thought you would experience. You may be feeling disappointed, frustrated, overwhelmed, or sad, and those feelings are normal feelings.
If you find you are struggling, there are some steps you can take to work through your emotional experience after a cesarean:
Processing any type of birth is a lot for the mind and heart to do. Take your time.
- Having a doula, friend or family member present to support your physical needs is vital in recovery. Having support for the physical you will support the emotional you as it works to process the feelings. Take time to rest; engage in safe, provider approved exercise; eat healthy, well balanced meals; take in some sunlight. Be gentle with yourself and the rest will follow.
- Writing down your birth story can help. The bilateral stimulation of physically writing it out, moving your hand back and forth and rereading it can help your brain process.
- Talking through your feelings with someone you trust can be helpful too. Whether a loved one, friend, therapist or doula, find someone safe to talk to. Seek out someone who will listen without judgement and who won’t try to “fix” the problem. Our doulas have both personal and professional experience with cesarean deliveries. We understand how the unexpected changes in plans can have an impact on your emotional well-being.
- Ask your partner to prepare visitors to understand where you are in processing your birth experience. No one should make you feel bad for not being satisfied with the fact that your baby is healthy. While an important factor, it is not the only thing that matters. Your feelings should be validated and respected.
- Seek out a support group. ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) can help you process your experience and prepare for future pregnancies. If you can’t make the meetings or there isn’t a chapter near you, check online for other groups such as those found on social media. Talking with others who have been there can help with feelings of isolation, loneliness and frustration.
The emotional experience after a cesarean can be a journey. Don’t be afraid to ride the ups and downs. You will get through this. We are here to help if you need us.
By: Laura Martin
